From a poignant blog entitled “Breathing” from My Everyday Terrors

I’m free, but I can’t enjoy it. Like a scared dog released from a small cage into a new environment, I huddle, immobile, terrified in my spare time, certain the appearance of freedom hides some trap.   Click for more of this blog entry. 

Source: Breathing | My Everyday Terrors

Opinion News -Intellectually, we know that life is short and fragile. Yet, many of us live our lives and get through each day in a way that is quite inconsistent with this knowledge. Many things we do or think about – and how we feel about them – would be very different if we really appreciate that our time on earth is finite and could expire much sooner than expected without any warning..

Read more at straitstimes.com.

Source: Find your own meaning in life, Opinion News & Top Stories – The Straits Times

From the introduction to The Novel Cure:

Whatever your ailment, our prescriptions are simple: a
novel (or two), to be read at regular intervals. Some treatments
will lead to a complete cure. Others will simply offer
solace, showing you that you are not alone. All will offer
the temporary relief of your symptoms due to the power of
literature to distract and transport. Sometimes the remedy
is best taken as an audio book, or read aloud with a friend.
As with all medicines, the full course of treatment should
always be taken for best results.

What is bibliotherapy?

Bibliotherapy is something I have practiced for many years with clients in my private practice of psychology. I love providing my clients with a book recommendation and have them come back in a week or two, pleased that they’ve found some parallel to their lives, found some important insight, or even realize they aren’t alone and that their suffering is really just part of the human experience.

Notably, it doesn’t always have to be a “self-help” kind of book either. It can be a work of fiction, a moving, and poignant memoir or even a historical work.   In today’s blog, we’ll concentrate on fiction.

“Creative bibliotherapy” utilizes imaginative literature—novels, short stories, poetry, plays, and biographies—to improve psychological well-being. Through the incorporation of carefully selected literary works, therapists can often guide people in treatment on a journey of self-discovery. This method is most beneficial when people are able to identify with a character, experience an emotional catharsis as a result of this identification, and then gain insight about their own life experiences.   From http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/bibliotherapy  

Throughout human history, (well since the invention of the written word) it seems that story telling and reading fiction has always been a fundamental way for people to escape workaday life and immerse themselves into a fantasy world. Reading is a like short vacation getaway from our own troubles, and it’s often described in exactly this way. It’s romanticized as a way to temporarily retreat from our day-to-day, humdrum life and immerse ourselves in a fantastical, imaginational world of new or lost loves, pirates, aliens, time travelers or maybe even ripped bodices in the 16th century!  :-O

One of the reasons I really think reading fiction is timeless and valuable for those on life’s exciting and often bumpy journey — is that in many ways the human experience of life is universal.  We’re all subject to the same bittersweet reality of life, to all of its sufferings and joys. Maybe reading fiction taps into something deeper inside us?    What if it taps into our very humanity; what Jung would have called the “collective unconsious”.

All decent fiction is populated with the archetypes of humanity.   Carl Jung wrote:

The archetype concept derives from the often repeated observation that myths and universal literature stories contain well defined themes which appear every time and everywhere. We often meet these themes in the fantasies, dreams, delirious ideas and illusions of persons living nowadays.

Interestingly,  Jung first applied the term archetype to literature. He put forward that there were universal patterns and themes in all stories, legends, and myths — regardless of their author, culture or historical period.  Jung theorized that a part of every human mind contains a “collective unconscious” shared by all members of the human species, a sort of universal, and primitive kind of memory.  Jung believed that the collective unconscious carried our inherited traits, our intuitions and a collection of collective wisdom from humanities past.   Interestingly enough some genetics research is starting to show that we do carry some genetic memory from our ancestors.     Archetypes can be seen as the eternal, underlying fabric that contains our universal human experience, our ancestral genetic memory.   Maybe reading fiction is a way of tapping into, exploring and clarifying our archetypal beliefs and this practice allows us to further understand ourselves and our connection to the rest of humanity?

Here is an article on genetic memory for further reading:

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/genetic-memory-how-we-know-things-we-never-learned/

According to Shifra Baruchson-Arbib, (2000):

The concept of using literature for therapeutic and supportive purposes has been known since ancient times. The Ancient Greeks called their libraries “The Healing Place for the Soul”; Muslim physicians encouraged patients in hospitals to read the Koran; Christians drew strength and comfort from the Holy Scriptures; and Jews never separated from their Prayer Book and the Book of Psalms. However, bibliotherapy did not become established as a concept until the 20th century.

The research on bibliotherapy dates all the way back to 1937 when scientist, civil rights pioneer and librarian Sadie Peterson Delaney used a form of bibliotherapy in her extensive work at the VA Hospital in Tuskegee, Alabama. Elizabeth Pomeroy, director of the Veterans Administration Library Service, published the results of Delaney’s research on the value of bibliotherapy at VA hospitals. The findings of this research showed that reading helped those in the VA Hospitals experience fuller and more meaningful lives.

In the February 1938 issue of Opportunity magazine, Delaney described the VA patients:

Here minds long imprisoned by lethargy are awakened… And once again he is alive with enthusiasm and joy derived from activity.

In 2012, researchers at Ohio State University examined what happened to people while reading a fictional story and discovered that readers found themselves feeling the emotions, thoughts, beliefs and internal responses of the fictional characters as if they were their own – a phenomenon the researchers describe as “experience-taking: 

Experience-taking can be a powerful way to change our behavior and thoughts in meaningful and beneficial ways” and “Experience-taking changes us by allowing us to merge our own lives with those of the characters we read about, which can lead to good outcomes

In 2010, Ahmadipour, Avand, & Mo’menpour implemented a small study of bibliotherapy’s use as a tool for helping those with depression and found that bibliotherapy was helpful in improving depressive symptoms to some degree.   And that,

In the face-to-face interview at the end of the period the subjects told that reading such books helped them to know themselves, their problem and their surroundings better.

Now where to start?  What to read?

The Novel Cure by Ella Berthoud, & Susan Elderkin is wonderful place to find some ideas, the authors write:

It’s tempting to see books the way we see gadgets: that we need the very latest, most up-to-date version. But just because a novel is new doesn’t mean it’s any good; indeed, with a new novel being published every three minutes, the chances that it’s good are actually rather low. Far better to wait and see if a novel stands the test of time, and in the meantime read one that’s already proved itself to be worth reading. Because the art of rereading is a neglected one, and arguably even more important than the act of reading the first time around.

The Novel Cure also offers a list of hundreds of different books and how they may help you deal with a loss, a depression or with the stresses of life.

Another good way to start reading to feel better is to ask your friends, coworkers and family if any books have affected and/or helped them navigate their lives?   Another way is to find a therapist that practices bibliotherapy and get some suggestions and direction from them — most especially if you are dealing with something more serious than the “blues” — like a mental health issue like clinical depression or strong anxiety.

The important thing, maybe, is to start.  Crack a good book. Find that escape, find that route into a different fictional world that might even help you find clarity, meaning and understanding in your “real” life.

One caution though,

In “Solution Focused Therapy” one of the modes of psychotherapy I practice, there are two important guides:

If it’s working, do more of it.

If it’s not working, do something different.

The same thing applies to trying reading to improve your mood.

Reading can be emotional for some people and if it worsens your mood, or if a specific genre of reading or even a specific book makes you feel worse — stop doing it and try something else or even talk to a mental health professional if you need to.

Or, secondly, if you struggle with getting “out into the world” effectively and reading makes you even more isolated….  it may not be a good choice to hide away reading rather than interacting in the “real” world.

Happy reading.

References:

Ahmadipour, T., Avand, F., & Mo’menpour, S. (2012). Bibliotherapy on Depressed University Students: A Case Study. Studies in Literature and Language, 4(2), 49.

Anderson, H. (2015, January 6). Bibliotherapy: can you read yourself happy? Retrieved from http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20150106-can-you-read-yourself-happy

Ella Berthoud, Susan Elderkin (2013) The Novel Cure: From Abandonment to Zestlessness: 751 Books to Cure What Ails You. Penguin Press

Bibliotherapy.   from   http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/bibliotherapy

Gubert, B. K. (1993). Sadie Peterson Delaney: Pioneer Bibliotherapist. American Libraries, 24(2), 124-125. http://www.jstor.org/stable/25632815?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents

Pomeroy, Elizabeth. “Bibliotherapy-A Study and Results of Hospital

Library Service,” Medical Bulletin of the Veterans Administration, 13:360-364,
April 1937.

Images courtesy of www.pixabay.com

Here is a great article on stress.

Like the Godfather of stress Hans Selye said decades ago:

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it”.

Remarkable New Research About Stress and the Brain (And All The Reason You Need For Some Sweet Self-Loving)

Interesting study.

Could explain why negative thinking in depression is so pervasive and constant.

So one possible explanation is that the habenula may help us to avoid dwelling on unpleasant thoughts or memories, and when this is disrupted you get the excessive negative focus that is common in depression.”

Source: Brain Structure That Tracks Negative Events Backfires in Depression – Neuroscience News

SMART Recovery: A thoughtful alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous

Any recovery from an addiction to alcohol can be a long and difficult road for many.     Alcoholics Anonymous, (AA), and it’s child, the 12 Step Recovery model seem to have a firm hold on many of the hearts and minds in the recovery world.  The AA/12 step culture permeates the language and “business” of recovery.    If we think of alcoholism and recovery…. the AA/12 Step Model is often what we think about.

This popularity and recognition anecdotally supports the idea that the 12 Step model is the only “proper” way to “recover” from an addiction. We hear many statements of faith from those who say AA has “saved their life”… so many personal testimonies that we take it as a given that the program works for many who try it. But what if that is not the case?   What if AA’s self-promoted success may be a bit of an exaggeration?

AA claims a success rate of 75%!    So why would you do anything else to recover from an alcohol addiction?   However, given the difficulty in recovering from an alcohol addiction, this 75% seems highly unlikely and a number that should be examined.

Peer-reviewed studies over the past 50 years or so have put the success rate of AA at about 5 to 10 percent.  So at best, only 10% of people who enter these types of 12 step programs are able to become and stay sober long term.

Evidence of this is the 2006 Cochrane Collaboration, who conducted a review of the many studies of AA “success” conducted between 1966 and 2005 and reached the conclusion that:

“No experimental studies unequivocally demonstrated the effectiveness of AA” in treating alcoholism”.

Disheartening statistics for sure, considering that the vast majority of professional recovery treatment programs and centres, have at their their core, the 12-step AA model.

But to present a balanced view many put forward that AA does work well for many.

An article in Scientific American looking at whether “AA works” puts forward that:

Other research suggests that AA is quite a bit better than receiving no help. In 2006 psychologist Rudolf H. Moos of the Department of Veterans Affairs and Stanford University and Bernice S. Moos published results from a 16-year study of problem drinkers who had tried to quit on their own or who had sought help from AA, professional therapists or, in some cases, both. Of those who attended at least 27 weeks of AA meetings during the first year, 67 percent were abstinent at the 16-year follow-up, compared with 34 percent of those who did not participate in AA. Of the subjects who got therapy for the same time period, 56 percent were abstinent versus 39 percent of those who did not see a therapist—an indication that seeing a professional is also beneficial.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/does-alcoholics-anonymous-work/

Many proponents of the AA/12-step model have tried to question the methodology of the Cochrane Collaboration — but really, in the end?   The results are still mixed and there really is a shortage of peer reviewed scientific evidence supporting AA as the best or only approach to recovering from alcohol addiction.

Another limitiation and complaint often heard about the AA model is that a “belief in a higher power” is a central principle of working the system and is encouraged as a fundamental recovery strategy.

But what about people who have world views and philosophies that do not include any such belief in a higher power? What about die-hard athiests and humanists who do not believe any such higher power exists?

So what about those people for whom the 12-step treatment or AA style program doesn’t work or for people who don’t see the 12-step AA as an approach as isn’t a “fit for them” personally.   Do they have any other good choices?

 According to addictions and recovery expert Stanton Peele:

Rather than convincing people that they have a lifelong disease and that recovery is all about abstinence, treatment needs to encourage and train people toward belief in themselves and the ability for independent living. This involves therapies that encourage self-control through skills training, emotional self-maintenance (for example, learning how to avoid and escape depression), community integration (called community reinforcement therapy), relapse prevention (not allowing a bad experience or patch of substance use to explode into full resumption of the addiction) and empowerment. (2011) http://www.peele.net/blog/110608.html

The name for this type of approach is called Harm Reduction.     Peele defines Harm Reduction as consisting of the following four principles:

1. While absolute abstinence may be preferable for many or most substance abusers, very few will achieve it, and even that small group will take time to do so and may relapse periodically;
2. Ordinary medical treatment readily accepts and practices ameliorative therapies, which preserve health and well-being even when people fail to observe all recommended health behaviors;
3. Therapists should present accurate information to clients and may even express their own beliefs, but they cannot make judgments for clients;
4. There are many shades of improvement in every kind of therapy—this improvement may be all that people are capable of and should be encouraged and nurtured.

One such alternative that recognizes the key strategies of Harm Reduction and is backed by good solid psychological principles is called SMART Recovery.  (SMART = Self-Management and Recovery Training).

SMART Recovery is designed to help people:

…recover from all types of addictive behaviours, including: alcoholism, drug abuse, substance abuse, drug addiction, alcohol abuse, gambling addiction, cocaine addiction, and addiction to other substances and activities.

SMART Recovery states their purpose as:

To support individuals who have chosen to abstain, or are considering abstinence from any type of addictive behaviors (substances or activities), by teaching how to change self-defeating thinking, emotions, and actions; and to work towards long-term satisfactions and quality of life.

The SMART approach to recovery is based on teaching self-empowerment and skills based on good psychological science.  It really about changing habits, encouraging personal growth, and about learning how NOT to drink.

The SMART Approach:
* Teaches self-empowerment and self-reliance.
* Encourages individuals to recover and live satisfying lives.
* Teaches tools and techniques for self-directed change.
* Meetings are educational and include open discussions.
* Advocates the appropriate use of prescribed medications and psychological treatments.
* Evolves as scientific knowledge of addiction recovery evolves.

From: http://www.smartrecovery.org/intro/

How is SMART different than Twelve Step/AA?

SMART Recovery has a scientific foundation, not a spiritual one.
SMART Recovery teaches increasing self-reliance, rather than powerlessness. SMART Recovery meetings are discussion meetings in which individuals talk with one another, rather than to one another.
SMART Recover encourages attendance for months to years, but probably not a lifetime.
SMART Recovery has no “sponsors”
SMART Recovery discourages use of labels such as “alcoholic” or “addict”.

Especially note that SMART is based on using sound, proven psychological principles and with this comes as a willingness to be progressive and evolve and change with scientific knowledge.  Very different from what many people believe is rigid, conservative thinking in the AA/12 Step approach.

Here is a brief overview of the SMART Recovery 4-Point Program which includes the following components:

Point 1: Building and Maintaining Motivation
Point 2: Coping with Urges
Point 3: Managing Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors
Point 4: Living a Balanced Life

Another interesting part of SMART Recovery that can really help in recovery success….  is the inclusion of an online support forum that helps people in recovery to form a community of connection and mutual support:

Here is a link to this helpful tool: http://www.smartrecovery.org/community/

The research-proven REBT (Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy) model of Albert Ellis is at the psychological core of SMART Recovery.

Ellis contends that addiction is not a disease, and the problem of alcohol addiction lies in the irrational thoughts and beliefs of the alcohol addict/user — this is very much divergent to the ideology of “powerlessness” taught by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA); where proponents admit they are powerless over alcohol because it is a “disease” (1992).

Ellis goes on and suggests that the AA strategy of admitting powerlessness over alcohol can even contribute greatly to maintaining alcoholism itself.   Feeling powerless can even encourage and lengthen relapses of using alcohol. Research also supports this contention.

Miller et al 1996 found that two main client characteristics were effective predictors  of resumed drinking and/or relapse:

1. lack of coping skills

2. belief in the disease model of alcoholism.

In other words, believing that alcohol is a disease that we are powerless over — may actually result in an increased likelihood and severity of relapse. (Miller et al 1996).

Realistically and pragmatically, we have to realize and accept that relapses in recovery happen often, regardless of the rehabilitation method or belief system —  a big advantage of the SMART method is that they:

view sobriety as a personal choice and relapse as a learning opportunity.

Relapse is not a personal or moral failing — it’s simply part of being addicted and it can be seen a learning experience to build on and move forward from.

SMART Recovery encourages the positive message that:

I’m not ‘powerless’ over alcohol, drugs or other addictive behavior. I can certainly use some help and I believe I can beat this problem like millions of other people have.

http://www.smartrecovery.ca/ideas.html

In my opinion and in my experience working with numerous people with addiction issues…   seems to be a much more productive, empowering and positive message than the powerlessness that may be caused in the AA “disease model.”

If an addiction has become an issue in your life and you’re looking for alternatives for help.  Or if you’ve tried AA/12 Step and it hasn’t been successful?

Maybe explore the SMART Recovery way to move forward?

Here is a link on how to get started with SMART:   http://www.smartrecovery.org/intro/

Photos from https://unsplash.com/

References

Scott O. Lilienfeld, Hal Arkowitz   Does Alcoholics Anonymous Work?   March 1, 2011.  http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/does-alcoholics-anonymous-work/

Ferri M, Amato L, Davoli M.  Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2006 Jul 19;(3):CD005032.Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programmes for alcohol dependence.

Albert Ellis, Ph.D., and Emmett Velten, Ph.D. 1992
When AA Doesn’t Work for You, Rational Steps to Quitting Alcohol Barricade Books, Inc., New York, NY,

http://www.peele.net/blog/110701.html
The Stanton Peele Addiction Website, July 1, 2011. This blog post also appeared on Stanton’s blog atThe Huffington Post website.

http://www.peele.net/blog/110608.html
The Stanton Peele Addiction Website, June 8, 2011. This blog post also appeared on Stanton’s blog atThe Huffington Post website.

Miller WR, Westerberg VS, Harris RJ, Tonigan JS. 1996 What predicts relapse? Prospective testing of antecedent models. Addiction. Dec;91 Suppl:S155-72.

A fascinating video look at how we organize language in our brains.

A groundbreaking new study from the Gallant Laboratory at the University of California, Berkeley is transforming how scientists understand language organisation in the brain. Published in Nature on 28 April 2016, the paper ‘Natural Speech Reveals the Semantic Maps That Tile Human Cerebral Cortex’ reveals that we use our entire brain – and not just the temporal lobe, as once believed – to group words by meaning. And while every ‘brain dictionary’ appears to be unique, they share some surprising similarities.

Source: See how our brains group words by meaning in surprisingly complex semantic maps | Aeon Videos

An interesting article on why therapy should be used before drugs for treating ADHD.  Also calls attention to how the pharmaceutical industry has become  marketing and sales focussed.

At the risk of stating the obvious, ADHD is not an illness.  Rather, it is an unreliable and disempowering label for a loose collection of arbitrarily chosen and vaguely defined behaviors.  ADHD has been avidly promoted as an illness by pharma-psychiatry for the purpose of selling stimulant drugs.  In which endeavor, they have been phenomenally successful, but, as in other areas of psychiatry, the hoax is unraveling.

Click for more : ADHD:  The Hoax Unravels

An excellent article on how to study effectively.

 

Most people practise the wrong tasks, reveals a psychologist. Take your head out of those textbooks for a few minutes and read his advice

Click here for the article:  The way you’re revising may let you down in exams – and here’s why

Rebounding from a Mistake

Fall down seven times, stand up eight. – Chinese proverb

Obviously making mistakes and failing makes us feel bad…. and we feel worse yet if we make a mistake through our own hubris, our own sloppiness or stupidity. Times when we zig when really, we should have zagged. Those… those are the worst.

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone, unless of course you’re an omniscient, omnipotent being like “Q” from Star Trek lore. Many people bounce back quickly and the problem soon becomes water off a duck’s back. They move on, accept the mistake and keep going forward. Lucky them!!!

However, for some people, making any small mistake can shape-shift into a furry, fanged monster of emotionally painful self-recrimination; where feelings of extreme self-doubt can paralyze them into a state of over-analysis and beating themselves over the head.

Whereas many people can more easily accept their mistakes, take them for what they’re worth, learn from them, and then move on forward…. Some human beings seem to be overly sensitive to their own mistakes and seem to get stuck in thinking about and analyzing them; rather than being able to move forward and feel better.

Like all human behavior though, it’s probably on a continuum… some people bounce back really quickly from mistakes, some people take a long time to bounce back and some people are in the middle.

OK now that we’ve established that you feel crappy about your failure.

Now what? How do you stop floundering in guilt, shame and feelings of not being good enough?

How do you bounce back?

You start the process of bouncing back by building a sound foundation of physical and mental health.

The important thing is to start, make an effort.

Try your best to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start with even the smallest of steps even.

Challenge the negativity that a mistake brings on.

Jazz great Miles Davis said: “When you hit a wrong note, it’s the next note that makes it good or bad.”

1. Slow down and breath or…  speed up and breath harder and get on a sweat.

Make sure you are eating well, getting enough sleep, getting exercise and taking care of yourself physically and emotionally. If exercise works exercise a little more, challenge yourself.   Read a good book, spend time with friends, and live life.   Try some mindfulness or other meditation, maybe yoga or other group exercise.  Try to do the things that make you feel good.

2. Get perspective:

Try your hardest to open your mind a little and maybe even get some opinions from trusted friends and family if you are comfortable doing so.

Shift your thinking from the empty half of the cup, to the fuller half.

Take the time to think about these types of questions and statements:

Is my thinking about this situation realistic and balanced or is it flawed in a way I’m not seeing or I’m not accepting?

Am I really truly being fair with myself or am I really beating myself up?

Am I catastrophizing this mistake and maybe making it feel much bigger than it really is? Is anybody actually physically hurt or threatened with harm? Will it even matter a year from now? A month from now?

I will learn from this and move forward because I have proof that I’ve done so in the past. How did that rebound happen? Write down some of the keys that made this past example of bouncing back possible.

And a really hard one for many people: I accept what’s already happened and that sometimes there are just things that I can’t control in life.

Everyone makes mistakes, I repeat: Yes, it’s a mistake, everyone makes them, it absolutely does not reflect on who I am as a human being.

Do I have hang-ups or “emotional baggage” from my childhood that is playing into this and making it even more difficult? Do you have deep feelings of guilt, or anxiety or shame feelings that really interfere with your life?

Is this kind of negative, defeatist thinking a pattern in my life? Taking small mistakes and making them larger and more meaningful than they should be? Seeing them as a failing of your self?  A character flaw?

If so and these situations happen often and make you really quite emotionally upset.

Ask yourself:

Would I benefit from talking to someone, even a professional helper like a Psychologist, or a Clinical Social Worker?

Here are few good places to explore accessing a therapist if that’s a fit for you:

https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

http://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html

3. Positive thinking/gratitude/visualization:

Don’t let negative thoughts and negative images of regret, mistakes and failure rule your mind.

Think of the positives in your life: the people, the home you live in, your music collection, the yummy special meal to make in your fridge, the beautiful sunrise, the soft breeze today, the cute baby you saw at the mall, that your favourite Netflix series has new episodes.

Make a list of the things you are thankful for, also called a gratitude list, write them all down, no matter how small or silly, and be thankful for the good things you have that aren’t affected by one small mistake.

Try to make an effort to think of positive memories from your past successes. What mistakes have you ”recovered” and rebounded from before? How did you do it?

4. Unfortunately, some people are terrible at rebounding from mistakes because their self- esteem is in the pits.

Self-esteem acts like an inoculation against getting stuck in our mistakes and feeling bad about ourselves.

Explore ways to shore up your self-esteem. Most especially if your emotional response to the mistake is way bigger than it should be,  and especially if you notice that you are really putting yourself down.Read articles and books on how to build self-esteem.

Websites like this:  http://psychcentral.com — Self Esteem Search

Or good solid self-help books like this: https://www.newharbinger.com/self-esteem-workbook

5. What if you’re really scared of making another mistake?

Here’s a great video from Seth Godin that can help you quell your fear of failure:

Seth Godin Explains How to Overcome the Fear of Failure

6. Finally…  the most important thing, really, is to make an effort — become aware of and challenge any flawed thinking patterns you might have, especially patterns that can be destructive regarding your self-worth and self-esteem.

Repeat over and over to yourself if you have to…  that mistakes happen to everyone, absolutely everyone… it’s just part of being human and humans are flawed.

Make an effort to see your own worth, build your self-esteem, see a therapist, read self-help books, watch Ted Talks on self-esteem… really try strategies until you find one that’s meaningful to you.

Oh and here’s a great Ted Talk on recovering from a mistake:

And here’s a link to some more great ideas to bounce back.  Coping with change: